Tight-Arse Tuesdays: U-Pick

I'm heading out in a little while today to pick strawberries with a friend, and I thought - what better frugal tip for a Tight-Arse Tuesday?

'Tis the season for U-Picks, and you'll find them within 30 minutes of your location, I can almost guarantee it. If you've never done it before, it's a great way to get out in the sunshine, and teach your kids (if you have them) about nature and food. Sometimes you bring your own container, sometimes they have containers for you; once you get to the farm, just start picking until you've got more fresh-picked fruit than you know what to do with.

Strawberries are common at U-Picks, as are blueberries, tree fruits, and sometimes grapes. I've occasionally seen vegetable U-Picks but it seems to be mainly a fruit thing. Start looking for a U-Pick farm near you at PickYourOwn.org.

Of course you'll want to enjoy a lot of your fruit in its freshness, but make sure you pick extra for preserving. Homemade jams and jellies are SUPER easy, and freezing is even easier! Wouldn't it be great to toss some of your frozen strawberries into a smoothie or some fruit bread later this winter, and have the flavor transport you back to that beautiful day in June when you laughed in the sun as you picked them?

Tight-Arse Tuesdays: Ribs!

Maybe I'm just Southern, but I love ribs. I don't do pig, but beef ribs and buffalo ribs feature in our house on a regular basis, and why not? They're flavorful, easy to cook, extremely filling, and very cheap - usually the cheapest meat on the animal!

They have a reputation for being hard to make, which is completely undeserved. They're time-intensive, sure, but almost all of that time is passive time. In my opinion, the best way to cook ribs is by braising them. Since they're such a fatty cut, all they need is some liquid and time to really bring out all that nice beefy flavor and soften them up a bit. And that takes next to nothing out of you! You get to serve up a delicious old-fashioned dinner that looks like you spent all evening on it, but really you were soaking in a bubble bath while time did the work. Ssh. I won't tell.

Here's a one-dish meal recipe that is super, super flexible. Add a salad if you want (I did). I didn't measure most of this so I'm not putting measurements here - just try a little bit of this and that. Feel free to substitute other root vegetables, or add some sturdy greens like kale or collards when you add the other veg.

THE EASIEST BEEFY RIB DINNER

Beef Ribs (about ¾ lb per person; the bone weighs it down)
1 Tbsp olive oil
Handful of mushrooms (dried is fine)
Spoonful of tomato paste
3 cloves garlic, halved
Chili powder (chipotle if you have it)
Cumin
Fresh rosemary
Salt & pepper
Splash of balsamic vinegar
Onion, chopped
Potatoes, diced
Carrots, sliced thick
1 Tbsp corn starch, potato starch, or arrowroot powder

Heat some water to boiling.

Heat the olive oil in a sturdy pot with a lid (use your cast-iron Dutch oven here if you have one). Brown the ribs, then pour in enough boiling water to mostly cover them. It's okay if the tips curve out of the water. And be careful doing this, since it's going to send up a huge steam cloud.

Throw in the mushrooms, and everything else but the veggies and starch/arrowroot. Give it a quick stir, then cover the pot and turn the heat to medium-low. Let it simmer for an hour if you've only got a couple of ribs in there, or 90 minutes if you have several. Meanwhile, pour a glass of wine and retire to a bubble bath.

When the timer goes off, have your husband, older child, or the next-door neighbor add the veggies to the pot and put the cover back on. They can add some more water if there's not enough to almost cover the veggies and meat. Sip your wine, finish your bath, and go slip into something comfy.

20 minutes after the veggies were added, remove them with a slotted spoon, along with the meat. Discard the mushrooms if they were dried (they will be tough, but they'll have flavored the broth nicely). Turn the heat all the way up on the liquid left in the pot, and dissolve the starch or arrowroot in a little bit of water. Stir that into the remaining liquid; let it boil for a minute until it thickens slightly. Spoon this sauce over the ribs and veggies. Serve immediately.

And don't forget to save the rib bones for later! They add excellent flavor to soups, stews, and beans. Unless you have a dog, of course, in which case rib night is fun for the whole family.

Tight-Arse Tuesdays - Counter Clockwise People Spend More - Wut?

How is this article for a wealth of consumer knowledge? Basically stating all the little nasty supermarket tricks for getting you to spend more on crap you don't need. It's true - supermarkets organize their shelves by sticking it to your pocket book. It's why the candy is on child's eye level and why fruit and veg is on the left. Is it? I bet it fuckin' is.

Why? Because, apparently, it's natural human condition to drift to the right when shopping. Oddly enough, I drift to the left. Score. I save $2 per trip on average according to studies. Considering I go nearly every day, simply veering to the left saves me $730 a year. So... go left ya heathens!

When you enter a big supermarket fresh fruit and veg is the first shopping zone. Although it’s not logical to have squashable fruit and veggies as the first items to pack into your trolley, this department is deliberately located to give the supermarket a positive image of being fresh and healthy.

People who use the fresh food areas also tend to spend more money in the store overall.

By setting up different “marketplace” areas, our minds are tricked into thinking we’ve visited several different stores rather than a single big shop. Each of these areas has different lighting, floor coverings and sometimes individual counters for service (such as a deli). “It’s all about creating a market-like feel,” says Harrison. “Areas such as the bakery, apart from smelling good, give the impression the supermarket is trustworthy; it’s like they’re saying, ‘you can trust us because we make stuff ’.”

That's right folks. Ever notice that? Bet ya didn't. But look, the deli counter is so shiny and has these awesome more expensive tiles hanging around it the rest of the market... so it looks nicer and more inviting. Ignore that's where the expensive shit is, eh? I did notice yesterday that the cheese in there was $2 a kg more than the cheese outside of it, even though my husband was CONVINCED deli-cheese was cheaper. Also - chicken is $1 a kilo more in there, too. Same chicken, LESS packaging. Nice.

Basically: the word 'special' induces some idea that, hey, maybe you're not like everyone else, the market puts longer-choice-making items in less busy areas, we're a bunch of suckers and, hey look, bright colours make you like us!

Thank heavens for the tips at the bottom of the article, which I will re-iterate using my own words so I can fool you just like the supermarkets. You're buyin' it.

Take a list. You will ALWAYS buy more without one. Be specific. I accidentally put "cheese" on the list instead of specifying. Now I have 4 different exotic cheeses in my fridge besides what I normally use. I got it in the deli section. Damn.

Take a calculator. Look at price per kilo/pound. IN EVERYTHING. Funny.. how 6 rolls of toilet paper are $3... but 24 rolls are $13. Which one is ACTUALLY cheaper?

Don't shop with your spouse. They make worse decisions than you.

If you shop at a big supermarket, only do it for large trips. Smaller trips put the mindset of "While I'm here I might as well..." buy crap you don't need.

Don't buy the bigger one JUST because it says so unless you have a plan for it. If I am jarring tomato sauces, by golly I'll by the two kilos of tomatoes for $2 instead of $1.90 for 1.5kg. However, if I'm not - there's 500g more tomatoes I have no fuckin' plans for. Only buy in bulk when you know what you're gonna DO with that bulk. Otherwise - chicken food. Fuck.

Eat before you shop. You'd think this one would be a motivator. "You mean to shop my arse off, I have to eat a meal?" Why do more people not DO this? But no.. ya go hungry. Pft. An excuse to eat. Take it.

Eye-level is where your eyes are. Look lower or higher for bargains, where taller and shorter people's eyes are.

Don't buy shit at the ends of isles. It's where the rip-offs are.

Stuff that goes together is placed together to tempt you to buy. It's why the hot cocoa powder is next to the damn coffee and why the jams are near the bread. 'cause you're a sucker.

All the crap you NEED will be furthest away from you possible to entice you. Don't fall for the trap. It's the same trap women's boobs use to cause earthquakes.

Overall: Baaaa. Because I'm a sheep that's fallen for ALL of this. Shops don't WANT to sell you what's best for you or your pocket book because that's not profitable. Don't trust them. They're evil consumerist warlords bent on pilphering every last penny from your bank and leaving you with ill-made and waxed foods. Shop smartly, don't fall for their crap (YOU DA WO/MAN!) and stick it to them, saving your money for other things. Like lollies. I mean. Not like lollies.

Tight-Arse Tuesday: Golden Rosemary and Sea Salt Sweet Potato Chips

Why should you be making your own potato chips when a bag only costs about two bucks? I know, it seems very 'un tight-arse' to you right? Well.

1. This giant pile of potato chips cost me about a 60 cents in potatos. Only 3 potatos were harmed in this photo.
2. Health - what I'm saving you may only be $1.40 per bag, but your body will thank you!
3. Less fat than normal chips! I normally only eat the "three ingredient" chips anyway so I'll go as far to say as it even has less carbohydrates than normal chips.
4. Using sweet potatos instead of normal potatos changes the GI to be *GASP* LOWGI POTATO CHIPS!
5. $1.40 is $1.40! If you eat a packet a day, I have saved you over $600! See, this is a savings.
6. Psst. It's also raw. Damn crunchy granola hippie freaks.


You can flavour your chips with anything you want. Simply slice about 4 potatos (I ate one while it was drying, don't judge me!) on the mandolin or, if your food processor has a slicer attachment, use that. Pour about a tablespoon of oil into the bottom of a bowl and your seasonings (I used fresh rosemary and blitzed it until it was dust) - use slightly more than you think you'll need if you want that real 'chippy' flavour.

Toss. Arrange onto racks. I find if you just haphazardly chuck them onto the racks instead of laying them out separate, you can just toss them around every few hours when you peek (and you will) on them and they'll dry evenly.

Dehydrate on high for about 6-8 hours.

Keep on hand as a great healthy alternative to your normal snacking!

Tight-Arse Tuesdays: Sorrel

I just discovered sorrel.

I know, I'm a bit behind the curve. The French have been eating sorrel for eons, and Foodies In The Know all seem to love it. But I grew up in a different climate and it wasn't on the menu when I was a kid. Last weekend at the farmers' market they were sampling some, and I was transported. I knew I'd found one of my new favorite vegetables.

That was three days ago, and I'm already out of sorrel and sad about it.

If you see sorrel at the market, BUY IT. Buy lots! You don't want to run out of it in three days. It looks kind of like spinach or chard, but it has a very sweet, fruity taste reminiscent of kiwi fruit. It goes with almost anything. It's very inexpensive, and easy to grow yourself - I've been seeing seeds and starts all over the place, and I'm getting a few sorrel starts for my own garden. Two bucks for unlimited sorrel all season long? Hellsyeah!

In the meantime, here's what became of that first $1.75 bunch of sorrel I got at the farmers' market...

1. Lunch Saturday was a quick saute of leftover chicken with some garlic, to which I added leftover rice and beans. Once that was mixed up and heated through, I piled it on top of fresh chopped sorrel and garnished it with a spoonful of salsa verde. The sorrel provided the perfect crunchy sweetness to go with the other flavors; I don't think I've ever enjoyed a Leftovers Lunch quite so much. (See pic above!)

2. Sorrel in salad. 'Nuff said.

3. Frenchie Breakfast. I sauteed a sliced leek in butter, then threw in the sorrel, then a splash of red wine with a bit of tomato paste. Let that cook through and served it over cheesy polenta (okay, not French) with radishes on the side (very French). The sorrel broke up a bit in the polenta, lending its distinctive fruitiness to the creamy texture. Great stuff.

4. Chicken soup. The rest of the leftover chicken, a mess o' veggies, stock made with the chicken carcass, and just before serving I stirred in the rest of the sorrel (just like you'd do with spinach). It was fabulous. The only reason I didn't fully enjoy it was because I knew that was the last of my sorrel.

Overall, I'd say I prefer it raw to cooked. It goes mushy when cooked, just like spinach but even moreso. And the flavor gets even sweeter when it's cooked, possibly too sweet. But it's still delicious cooked, and it is transcendent served raw. I can't believe it took me this long to discover it... but now at least I get to make up for lost time.

Tight-Arse Tuesdays - Tuesday Date Night

In an attempt to save money, my partner and I have been trying to cut back on our date night spending. Not our date nights, just the spending we'd do during said nights. We still want to spend time together, like any couple, but find it difficult with our weekly $50 budget each we've imposed on ourselves. So here's a few creative ones we came up with in times of desperation:


1. The best part of picnics is you can justify the spending as 'food money' instead of 'spending money', thus the price of the date is merely your DVD rentals or drive to the country. The rest of the food can be stored and made into lunches for the next few days and thus isn't really a date expense. I believe me, you should too. Roast chicken, cheesy garlic mashed potatoes and some cobb bread with a beetroot dip, the entire meal cost me about twenty dollars, which was then used for about four more meals. This is Australian, so this is cheap. This was our 'home picnic' date night, where we decided to stay home and have a picnic in bed, as opposed to going for a drive to the country, which we also do.

2. You'd be surprised these days how fun it actually is to read together. I'm not talking sitting next to each other under a shared blanket reading (although that's nice too, it leaves no room for conversation). I'm talking about buying a book or loaning one from the library and literally sitting down and taking turns reading it to each other. The tackier the better. I'm talking Goosebumps books and trashy romance novels. Why? Because you have FUN. Because watching the look on your partner's face as they try to describe Sanchez's rippling loins is hysterical. For the Goosebumps books, throw on some cheesy Halloween music and use a flashlight on your face. Guaranteed to make you laugh.

3. Not one to forget the obvious, check your local paper. You don't even need to have your local paper, what with the internet (which I'm assuming you have if this is not being fed directly into your brain) or simply the local coffee shop, which also makes for a great date-morning. A cup of coffee together, read the paper and find what's going on. Many many times I've spotted a tiny ad for a free movie premier at the local arthouse theatre. Only once has this venture disappointed us and even then, we got to laugh about it together. Combined with a mini-on-the-go-picnic (what I call lunchbags), I've just given you an entire DAY of dating here for the price of two coffees and leftovers.

4. Yardsaling is a fun date. Especially since women and men both like to think they're better than the other at picking up a bargain. Usually my husband will find some sort of expensive fishing rod for only ten dollars and I'll laugh at him because, look, I got a whole bag of seeds for a dollar! I can feed the family for months off that! What can your fishing rod do? Oh yeah... feed the family for months. Curses.

5. Speaking of the above - fishing. If you actually enjoy spending time with your partner where all you can do is watch the water and talk, this is wonderful. Usually you can find a friend who will lend you a cheap boat (or a friend who knows where a good creek is) and licences are yearly and twelve bucks, so you can get many dates out of this. If you're any decent at actually catching the fish (I'm not), you'll also get a whole heap of free food. Bring a small picnic (I'm really pushing that today) and sit by the water with your lover, feeding each other, baiting hooks (wash your hands between the two, my suggestion) and comparing who caught the biggest fish that day. Then go home, scale and steam yourself what might be a few night's dinner. If you've had a particularly good day, you can sell some of the fish off to people on the harbour quite easily. Nothing like a whole day date you MAKE money off of, eh?


6. Farmer's Markets are surprisingly fun and cheap morning dates. Sampling the ripest tomatoes and talking about farm life with the locals can make for a fun addition to your already boring grocery shopping. Why hang around in dully lit overpriced markets when you can turn Sunday into a fun date morning and incorporate your love-life into your love of food life? Don't bring a picnic here, you might find the baker has a whole loaf of organic grain bread for a dollar and you might want to split that with some fresh butter, another dollar. The best part is, all of this is just grocery shopping on the cheap! But together you can discuss what is best for that glorious bag of heirloom tomatoes you grabbed for two bucks.. salad or grilled? With the money leftover, you can buy some old woman's fresh flowers to adorn your table and then cook up an amazing roast lunch to have at home. I look forward every week to my Farmer's Market date. I really love smelling the fresh picked green onions.

7. Do I really need to say museums and galleries? I think that one is an obvious one, but I put it here anyway. Usually free entry, liven up your knowledge of the arts a bit... makes a good fun little time out. Check your paper for fun ones at the same time as the free premiers and you'll be good to go.

8. Challenge yourself. I know it's hard to come up with a cheap way of showing your partner you love them - but if you make it into a personal challenge, it's much more fun. In the beginning my partner and I liked to see who could spend more money on the other (I won, I should mention) and finally we decided... who can spend the LEAST money on each other, but still be creative? This is where gifts like an altoids can miniature toolbox came in. Or my current favourite, making sexy scratch off lotto tickets that say things like "You win a free day of cuddles!" or "You win a picnic" (again?) or "You win a story told to you by flashlight.".... make it fun.. make it creative! Just because it's cheap doesn't mean it's.. well..cheap. So challenge yourself. See what you can come up with. I bet it's fun!

Tight-Arse Tuesday: Mashup!

Everybody likes mashed potatoes. They go beautifully with everything, especially meats, and when done right they have a nice creamy comfort-food quality. Don't let anyone tell you that potatoes are bad for you, either; they're rich in lots of vital nutrients! Plus, as we all know, they're cheaper than the dirt they grow in. (Literally.)

Still, 'taties are not known for huge flavor, so we tend to load them up with butter, gravy, and other flavorings. That's one way to do it, and I certainly won't turn down buttered mashed potatoes, but I much prefer to boost their nutritional content along with their flavor and use them as a base for more veggies.

There in the picture you can see a mashup (hey, it works for music!) of potatoes, turnips, and sunchokes. I made it vegan because we don't mix dairy and meat, and honestly I did not miss the butter. Neither did my husband, and he's a butter guy (like there's any other kind).

Take this recipe, and feel free to tweak it - you can add carrots, rutabaga, sweet potatoes, whatever you like. Just don't forget the turnips! Even if your mash is only turnips and potatoes, you will tell a huge difference because the turnips bring a sweetness that goes so nicely with the potatoes' creamy texture.

POTATO MASHUP
(serves 3-4)

2 medium potatoes
2 medium turnips
1 lb. sunchokes (aka Jerusalem artichokes)
2 Tbsp olive oil
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1 Tbsp garlic powder
Salt and pepper to taste

Wash the veg and cut them into chunks, all about the same size, chucking them into a big pot as you go. DO NOT peel them! Most of the vitamins are in the peel and anyway the peels are good to eat. They make mashed potatoes interesting, give them texture. So just give them a good scrub and chop 'em up.

Cover with water and bring to a boil. Salt them if you want to. Simmer over medium heat for 15 minutes or until the veggies are fork-tender. Drain, and return to the pot.

Mash those veg up until you don't see the cut edges anymore. It's okay if they're still chunky! You don't want a smooth puree. When they're all mashed up, add the remaining ingredients, mixing after each addition. Serve immediately.

Tight-Arse Tuesdays - Healthy Nutritious Eating is NOT EXPENSIVE.

Dear Readers,

This is more of a shout out and a rant than actual advice, but I know it's been getting to both Kimberly and myself these days. I will also include a few tips for those who know all this.

Food is not expensive. Food is not hard to make. A good meal is not a dream. I have no idea where Western Society got this bizarre idea that only the rich can afford to eat well. Are farmers rich? Do they eat well? Now, for the rich: do you ever see a rich man cook his own organic food or is he rushing from meeting to meeting sipping overpriced Starbucks? Exactly my point.

From poor to rich, from time-rich to time-tight; everyone can eat healthy. Correct, some people simply don't have time for drives to the country to get the food right off the farm. However, health is not just in the country-side. Good food is not far away.

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Tips to save money on food:

Don't eat out. Find a nice fancy recipe to try at home. Sure, at first the ingredients will cost more, but they'll last forever. And in the end, that meal will still be cheaper than if you ate out at a nice restaurant plus you'll have leftovers!

Organic food, by nature, is metabolized more proficiently by the body. Thus, you need less of it. Organic seems scary and expensive? You only need half if not less to get the same nutrients out of fresh organic food - however you still need calories - so you can fill up on more cheap carbohydrates like potatoes and brown rice. Delicious. Inexpensive.

Food can be grown at home and in not much space. There's a whole organization dedicated to growing food in a square foot. Heck, those Aerogardens are taking off nicely. All they are is a hydro setup, which can be inexpensive if purchased at an actual hydroponic shop instead of off a pretty jingley commercial. Insert marijuana joke here.

Bulk is always good but not always the best. Only buy bulk of what you will eat. I know that sounds obvious, but I'm a hoarder and I've stocked up on bulk cans of beets before. I hate beets. I especially hate canned beets. Now the charity hates beets. Staple bulks: beans (I personally use barlotti the most), chickpeas, brown rice, oats, sugar and flour.

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Someone told me they couldn't find organic food because they lived in a city. I found that confounding! I live in the farm rural areas and I have a MUCH harder time finding healthy and organic than I ever did living in the city. The city is a cluster of all kinds of shops within walking distance. Country? Notsomuch. Granted, it's a few days older than farm-fresh food - but it's definitely there. Look around, ask around.

Another person told me they simply did not have enough time. Sure, I don't have children - but I have two jobs, go to university and spend a day a week helping charities - and I cook every meal except one a week, which my husband does as a gift to me.

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Tips to save time on cooking:

The minute you bring home the groceries, chop and bag them. I find when I do this, not only do I eat the vegetables more often (because, hey, they're already cut, I might as well use them) but I have tons of time doing it all at once instead of before each meal. Once you get a good groove going, it's pretty quick.

Using the above tip I also make bags of mixed vegetables with ginger and garlic grated in and freeze them. Instant stir-fry in a pinch.

Every meal I make, I make extra and freeze it. Currently it's going to the fact I'll be away for ten days later this month and I don't trust my husband to cook for himself, but other than that it goes to my husband's lunches or spare dinners/desserts when I'm exhausted.

Crockpots: proof Gd loves us. It's an amazing delicious meal that you spent maybe ten minutes on, that cooked itself and used the CHEAPEST cuts of meat. Because that's what you do with crappy tough meat - you throw it in this thing and it comes out tasting jucier and flakier than any expensive filet mignon. And it cooks while you work!

Mini-Crockpots: I realized one day that I could put steel-cut oats and fruit into a small two-bowl crockpot before bed and I'd wake up to a high-calorie carbo-filled breakfast that would pretty much fuel me until lunch time, where my previous night's dinner had already made my meal! I'm currently playing with the idea of putting dough in there to make muffins as I sleep - so far it's better in theory.

Baking: Like crockpots, only quicker! Cut, toss, throw in, help the kids with homework, eat. Baked chicken takes five minutes to prepare. Shove a lemon up it's butt and thyme under it's skin and throw it in the oven. Want to speed up even THAT time? Boil the lemon first. Not only will it explode inside the chicken, self-basting it, but it will also start the cooking process from the inside as well - cutting your time by at least 15 minutes. I've cooked three whole chickens in a half hour this way before.

Use your weekends intelligently: You have a few minutes to watch TV and unwind? Before you do, quickly start some dough. Ten minutes, promise. Watch your show to rise and then par-bake the loaves of bread. Freeze and take out during the week when you want bread. Finish the baking process and - voila! Fresh homemade bread, during the week! Do the same with pizza dough then you always have fresh pizza bases on hand! Slap some jarred sauce on it, fresh veggies and some cheese and you have a fresh homemade pizza in minutes - up to 6 times a week! My husband tells me my pizzas are better than any shop including those pricey snobby ones.
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You can eat healthy and happy at home even short on time and money. C'mon, I'm currently planning and paying for a wedding* on TOP of my two jobs and school and I still find time for all of that - and writing this blog up as the smell of fresh curry wafts into my house from that crockpot. Enough to feed 12 and it cost me ten bucks. So I know you can do it!




*I call him my husband even though he's not yet, for the confused.

Tight-Arse Tuesdays - Vaginas

I know this seems like avery odd topic for a cooking and domestic blog, but let's face it - we all want cheap and natural ways to care for our little lady. American healthcare is expensive, and you all know it. You're not getting a decent doctor's visit anytime soon and by george, you're itching to see one.

I have two incredibly helpful home remedies to help your box be top notch!

Yeast infections are annoying and sometimes incredibly painful. You itch and itch and itch and finally give in and spend seventeen dollars on an antibiotic ointment. Garlic, babies. Garlic is a wonderful healing aid for many things and can prevent yeast infections when ingested reguarly. however, I am not suggesting you ingest this one. That's right ladies, peel that sucker, cut notches into it and, if you're not very good at fishing, tie a string to it before you insert it directly into your goddess zone. I have to tell you now though, you will taste of garlic. I don't mean just your bits, but you will taste garlic in your own mouth. Keep a clove of garlic inside for 6 hours and change. Keep changing til infection is gone - around a day or two.

BV is smelly and itchy and painful. It's caused by an imbalance in the good bacterias of your vagina. Yogurt. I am saying you both eat, insert and apply this wonderful natural cream. Sugar free all natural plain yogurt - sugar is just going to buid up the yeast and the next thing you know you're making a garlic yogurt concoction. Use an old tampon applicator and get some yogurt in there. A spoonful will do you. If you don't like this option, buy some acidopholus pills and insert one of those instead. Apply yogurt topically to ease the itching and eat it do balance out your happy feelings.

If symptoms persist, DO see a doctor. If you get swelling, bumps or other issues associated with your infection, DO see a doctor. You might have something entirely different and vaginal health is incredibly important. We only have one, ladies! We gotta keep it healthy and safe. Use your best judgement. If you feel something is wrong, don't hesitate to spend the extra money to see someone.

But all in all, these two simple tips should help clear any casual case of vaginal distress and save you heaps of money on creams, lotions, pills and doctor's scripts.

Tight-Arse Tuesday: Sowing Your Seed

If you're in the northern hemisphere, the weather out there on this February morning is probably not anything that makes you want to get out into the garden. Get started now, though, and you can save a LOT of money by starting your own seeds.

By the time the weather's nice enough to start planting outside, you've already missed the buss on a lot of delicious, healthy spring vegetables, and you've cut your tomato season short. Or you'll have to pay several dollars for each little baby plant, when you could've started even more plants for less than the cost of one.

So first find yourself some containers. Those little flats that you buy veggie transplants in work fine, but you can also use tin cans, yogurt cups, paper coffee cups, etc. Just punch a couple little holes in the bottom for drainage and they're good to go! Fill each one about 3/4 of the way (at least a few inches deep) with seed starting mix - note that this is NOT potting soil. Potting soil is too heavy for seeds. But don't worry, seed starter is not expensive.

Once you've got them all ready, make a little hole in each one (a few holes in each if you have a larger container like a butter tub) with a pencil, about as deep as it says to plant on the seed packet. Drop a couple of seeds in each hole, using tweezers for tiny seeds, and gently brush the soil over them. Mist liberally with water from a clean spray bottle; don't pour water in or you'll disturb the soil and move the seeds around. Label each container with masking tape and a Sharpie so you remember what's planted in each one.

Now you have to keep them warm. If it's cold where you are, you can cover each container with plastic wrap to make it a mini-greenhouse, just keep an eye on things to make sure it's not getting too hot inside. (If it is, you can lift a corner of the plastic for ventilation.) Another thing you can do is put your little pots on a cookie sheet and set that on top of a heating pad. Don't get it so hot that it bakes your plants, but this is a great way to keep your little seeds all snug and cozy.

Mist them with water every few days, or if your containers are shallow, pour a little water into the cookie sheet and let them wick it up from underneath.

In a week or so, you'll have small green babies crowning through the soil. Make sure they're in a place where they can get plenty of sunlight, or point a flourescent light at them for most of the day. You can switch on the flourescent light when you get up in the morning and shut it off after dinner in the evenings.

Let them keep growing this way for a few weeks, until it warms up outside and there's no more danger of frost. At that point you'll already have all your pretty little veggie starts and you won't have to go pay a fortune for them at the garden center. And delicious, homegrown veggies will only be a few weeks away!

Tight-Arse Tuesdays - Make your own Protein bars

This is by no stretch of the imagination the cheapest thing to do, but it is also without a doubt cheaper than buying protein bars. In my area, the foul tasting things are $4 a piece! My husband and I are both body-builders and heavy into fitness, so these things, used as a quick protein hit to continue weight loss*, can be very expensive on our pocket book. Protein powder, while not cheap, is still significantly cheaper; most recipes needing a mere 3 scoops per 8 bars. I'd say, on average, the bars do not cost me more than fifty cents each. A savings of 88%... I think I can live with that.

Now I'd also like to mention here that legumes are one of the WORST sources of protein if you're building. "But everything has peanut butter!" Yeah, and everything has chocolate too. Ain't that damn healthy. So these bars will provide a larger protein hit, cost less and probably taste better. Guaranteed, actually. If these bars do not taste better, I will give you your money back.

Basic NutButter Oatmeal Protein Bars

2 cups dry oatmeal, dry toasted on a naked pan until tasty but not burnt
3 scoops protein powder
1/2c hazlenut butter, macadamia butter, or another nut butter. I use cashew.
1/3c whole fat milk

I use whole fat milk because 1. it tastes better and 2. fat is good for you. While you're shovelling protein in your face, it's good to make sure that face is clear and rosy, right?

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and press down using wax paper into a brownie tray. Freeze for forty minutes. Cut into bars, wrap in alfoil and refridgerate until headed out that day.

Apple Pie Protein Bar - Soft

Ingredients

6 tablespoons vanilla protein powder
2 tsps baking powder
4 teaspoons Splenda
2 eggs
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons water
1/2 cup chopped apple -- (chopped into tiny pieces)
1 Tbl vanilla extract
2 teaspoon maple syrup
2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon fresh ground nutmeg

Preheat oven to 160/320
Mix together dry ingredients.
In separate bowl mix together eggs, oil, and extracts. Beat well & then add to dry ingredients, mixing well.
Add water and apple. Should be a wet consistency like a cake mix.
Pour into well-greased bread pan.
Cook for 15-25 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean. May take longer to cook, depending on consistency of protein powder used. (Mine took 35 minutes, so this is incredibly variable).

Should be a soft cakey bar that tastes similar to an apple cake or pie. Not as firm as most bars, but a good little protein grab.


*Protein, when ingested frequently, burns more calories than going hungry. All foods do this, but protein more so. If you're planning on dieting, a constant supply of protein is very beneficial. As with all diets, don't overdo it.

Tight-Arse Tuesday: Buy In Bulk!

I've just come back from our local food co-op, where we loaded up on all of our staples, about two weeks' worth, for $50. That's the great thing about buying in bulk!

You've probably seen bulk candy at the grocery store, but a lot of stores are beginning to realize that the goods are cheaper for them, as well as for the consumer, when they dispense with all the packaging. And it's better for the planet too! We use various recycled jars and bins to store our bulk goods - everything from flour to beans, even dish soap and oatmeal, even olive oil and honey.

We really see the savings in spices; instead of paying $7 for a little jar of garam masala (most of which would go stale before we used it), we can pay a quarter or so for only the amount we need for a particular recipe. Things we use more of, like cinnamon and paprika, wind up costing us a dollar or two for a big jar that lasts for two or three weeks. And it's fresher, not like that sawdust at the supermarket!

Canning jars make great containers and look pretty on the shelf when full of beans, peas, steel-cut oats, pasta, nutritional yeast, and other staples. You can also typically find bigger containers at the dollar store. See if there's a co-op in your area, or check if your supermarket is one of the many now starting to offer bulk sections. It will save you more money than you can imagine!

Tight-Arse Tuesdays - Mexican Bruschetta

I was lazy in the kitchen this week when I came up with this little gem that I love so very much now. I bet if I had used fresh barlotti beans instead of tinned, it would've been even better (and cheaper!). As it was, like I said, I was lazy.

I got a kilo of chicken thighs the other day for around nine dollars. I was telling my fiancee that I read a blog ealier that day that suggested halving the meat in a recipe and adding a filler instead to save money. I said I was going to try this. He looked wounded.

I browned two chicken thigh fillets, diced as small as possible, in the pan before adding one can of barlotti beans, 1/4 cup salsa, 1 tsp cumin, 1 tsp garlic powder, and 1/4 tsp dried chillies plus a dash of paprika. I set it aside.

I like to dry-grill my bread. Oil works fine, but doesn't seem to do a nice crunchy brown that I love the outside to be. So I started up my grill pan and had my man slice up the bread at an angle. I toasted it nicely on both sides, setting off my fire alarm in the process. Luckily, this happens often, so the man was standing underneath it waiting to push the button. Sensitive thing!

The bread I got for a dollar on sale from the day old section of the grocers, which works perfectly with this recipe. The can of beans was a dollar and the chicken was about $2. Topped with a dash of olive oil, chopped fresh tomatoes ($1) and some coriander from the garden, this meal feeds three for five bucks.

Oh, and it's freakin' delicious and hubby didn't notice the lack of a lot of meat!

Tight-Arse Tuesday: Egg Foo Yung

Ever open your fridge and see a little of this, a little of that, all cold leftovers starting to droop, and think, "There is no way on earth I can bring myself to eat that"? Me too. This is why I have such well-fed chickens.

You can't give it ALL to your chickens though, and if you don't have chickens, something's got to be done so you're not wasting all those leftovers. Enter egg foo yung. No, my way of making it is probably not authentically Chinese. That's okay; neither am I. It's still cheap, tasty, and super-easy (and so am... um, *cough* nevermind).

LEFTOVERS EGG FOO YUNG
(serves 2, doubles or triples easily)

Pretty much anything is good in this - leftover meat of any kind (mixing up different kinds will make this even better), tofu (it goes bad so quickly once you open it, so use it up here), veggies of almost every variety. If you're starting without leftovers you can chop up some turkey bacon or whatever else is handy, some onions and veggies, and give them a quick stir-fry with some pepper, soy sauce, and sriracha.

You'll want about two or three cups' worth of cooked meat and veg to go in this. In a large bowl, beat up six to eight eggs, depending on how much meat and veg you have and how eggy you want this to be. Sprinkle some garlic powder, salt, and pepper into the eggs, and add just a pinch of ground ginger. Whisk it all up and then stir in the meat and veg.

Heat a little olive oil in a heavy skillet and make sure it coats the bottom evenly. Pour half the eggy mixture into the skillet and cook on medium heat until the eggs start to set. If they spread out too much, just push them back toward the middle with a spatula. Once the bottom and sides are starting to set, flip it. Cook another minute or two until the whole thing is a cooked little egg cake. Remove from the pan and repeat the process with the remaining mixture and there you have egg foo yung for two.

Serve with bottled hoisin sauce, or whisk together:
1/4 cup hot water with a boullion cube or broth powder
(or 1/4 cup broth)
1 Tbsp honey
1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar or lime juice
1 Tbsp soy sauce
2 Tbsp corn starch, potato starch, or arrowroot
Pinch ground ginger
Salt and pepper to taste

Bring to a boil in a small saucepan or zap it in the microwave until hot and thick. Spoon over egg foo yung and enjoy.

Tight-Arse Tuesdays - Moroccan Beef and Lentil Stew

Saving for a wedding is quite difficult and, as foodies, can be devastating to find out the only place you can cut back on your spending is food. For us, food is a major part of our lives. I don't even make a point to buy many snacks.
For a couple weeks the most snacks in my cupboard were a packet of Poptarts that said "Do Not Eat" in Post-its and two packets of chips, which my flatmate ate anyway. So obviously it's not prepackaged food I'm buying too much of.
Simply put, it's the meat I eat, the sauces I like and the fresh fruit and vegetables I buy by the kilo a week. That being said, I still need to figure out meals I can make that are both thrifty and filling.
Lentils are an amazingly cheap resource. Probably cheaper than where I get them, as well, which is the local grocery store. As it is, I think this entire meal cost me no more than Twenty Dollars including two loaves of bread and pre-made hummus and it feeds roughly 8 servings. So.. four hungry people. Or two full-grown men who have built a house.


Moroccan Beef and Lentil Stew
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 red onion, diced
500g chuck steak
3 cloves garlic, diced
2 tablespoons fresh ginger
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 tablespoon cumin, ground
2 teaspoons ground coriander
1/2 tsp cinnamon, smoked paprika (honestly I put a tablespoon of this in), and turmeric
1 tsp chilli flakes
pinch saffron
2 carrots, diced
400g fresh diced tomatoes
2 cups lentils (I used green)
8 cups water
S&P to taste

Honestly, there's a million directions in this recipe and I didn't care. Not only did I not have pumpkin which it asked for, I hate celery in soup, so I didn't use it (and thus didn't include it in the ingredients). The original recipe didn't have meat and used tinned tomatoes. As I was preparing the dish, I discovered my fiancee had used ALL the tinned tomatoes in last night's disaster of a pasta dish he called spaghetti.

80% of recipes will tell you to brown meat before throwing it in a crockpot. Ever tried it? Ever tried not doing it? Newsflash: IT TASTES, FEELS AND LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME. No need to ever bother with it.

So what do I say? Throw EVERYTHING in the crockpot, as is. Just dump everything in. Takes less time than dumping a body, I promise. Set to high for four to six hours. DONE! Then hide the crockpot, tell your husband you spent all day slaving over it and get him to give you a foot massage!

Served with hummus, Aussie Outback dukkah in olive oil, garlic white bread and whole grain seed bread, lightly toasted.

-Elizabeth