Tight-Arse Tuesdays: Sorrel

I just discovered sorrel.

I know, I'm a bit behind the curve. The French have been eating sorrel for eons, and Foodies In The Know all seem to love it. But I grew up in a different climate and it wasn't on the menu when I was a kid. Last weekend at the farmers' market they were sampling some, and I was transported. I knew I'd found one of my new favorite vegetables.

That was three days ago, and I'm already out of sorrel and sad about it.

If you see sorrel at the market, BUY IT. Buy lots! You don't want to run out of it in three days. It looks kind of like spinach or chard, but it has a very sweet, fruity taste reminiscent of kiwi fruit. It goes with almost anything. It's very inexpensive, and easy to grow yourself - I've been seeing seeds and starts all over the place, and I'm getting a few sorrel starts for my own garden. Two bucks for unlimited sorrel all season long? Hellsyeah!

In the meantime, here's what became of that first $1.75 bunch of sorrel I got at the farmers' market...

1. Lunch Saturday was a quick saute of leftover chicken with some garlic, to which I added leftover rice and beans. Once that was mixed up and heated through, I piled it on top of fresh chopped sorrel and garnished it with a spoonful of salsa verde. The sorrel provided the perfect crunchy sweetness to go with the other flavors; I don't think I've ever enjoyed a Leftovers Lunch quite so much. (See pic above!)

2. Sorrel in salad. 'Nuff said.

3. Frenchie Breakfast. I sauteed a sliced leek in butter, then threw in the sorrel, then a splash of red wine with a bit of tomato paste. Let that cook through and served it over cheesy polenta (okay, not French) with radishes on the side (very French). The sorrel broke up a bit in the polenta, lending its distinctive fruitiness to the creamy texture. Great stuff.

4. Chicken soup. The rest of the leftover chicken, a mess o' veggies, stock made with the chicken carcass, and just before serving I stirred in the rest of the sorrel (just like you'd do with spinach). It was fabulous. The only reason I didn't fully enjoy it was because I knew that was the last of my sorrel.

Overall, I'd say I prefer it raw to cooked. It goes mushy when cooked, just like spinach but even moreso. And the flavor gets even sweeter when it's cooked, possibly too sweet. But it's still delicious cooked, and it is transcendent served raw. I can't believe it took me this long to discover it... but now at least I get to make up for lost time.

Pity the Fool!

What better day than April Fool's Day to make a nice and tasty fool?

This British dessert is a great way to showcase seasonal fruits. Usually, the fruit is pureed and then blended with whipped cream and egg whites to give it a fluffy, mousse-like texture. Occasionally the fool is then layered with cake or pastry to dress it up.

Jamie Oliver has a better version in his excellent book Jamie At Home. I made it recently to celebrate the delicious rhubarb which is so abundant right now, and I found this recipe as quick and easy at it was delicious. It got rave reviews at our table, especially from guests who had never had rhubarb before. And it came together so quickly and easily that I was still able to enjoy hanging out with my guests.

By the way, if you don't already have a copy of Jamie At Home, you need to get one. It's all about fresh, simple food made from homegrown ingredients, and it includes gardening tips, seasonal cooking, and even a chapter on wild game. The photography is so sensuous it borders on the pornographic, and the writing style makes it the kind of cookbook you can curl up to read on a rainy day. And, as you will see here, the recipes are fantastic.

JAMIE OLIVER'S SPEEDY RHUBARB FOOL

For the rhubarb compote:
1 lb rhubarb, trimmed and chopped
1/3 cup sugar or vanilla sugar *
Juice of 1/2 an orange **

For the wafers:
3 Tbsp confectioner's sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
Piece of frozen puff pastry

For the flavored yogurt:
2 cups plain yogurt
zest of 1 orange
1 heaped tablespoon honey

* I used 1/3 cup sugar plus 1 tsp vanilla; next time, I will substitute 1/4 cup honey.
** I used all the juice of the whole orange just because I wanted to.

Jamie says: "Get yourself a small pan and throw in the rhubarb, sugar and orange juice. Put a lid on top, bring to the boil for a couple of minutes, then remove the lid and simmer for a few more minutes until you get a thick compote consistency."

Meanwhile, sift the confectioner's sugar and cinnamon onto a clean countertop. Cut 4 slices about 1/2" thick from the puff pastry, then roll each slice out to 1/4" thick, turning it over a few times as you go so that it gets coated in the sugar and cinnamon. Cut the strips in half so you have long triangles, then fry those triangles in a hot dry skillet until golden brown on both sides. Cool them on a rack.

Mix the yogurt, honey, and orange zest together in a bowl. You can do this ahead of time and keep it chilled; you can also make the compote and pastry triangles ahead of time too and just assemble when you're ready to serve dessert. To serve, glop some yogurt onto a small plate or into a pretty glass bowl, then top it off with some rhubarb and pastry, and repeat the layers.

Welcome to April, Fool!

How To Get Dressed In Seconds

One of my favorite things about spring is the return of Salad Season!

During the summer, I pretty much live on salad. It's good for breakfast, it's good for lunch, it's good for dinner, and it's good for just a random snack. If you grow your own salad greens and veggies, it's even better, but you don't have to. Just make sure you're going to a farmers' market or a good produce stand for the good stuff; plastic-wrapped iceberg lettuce really has no place on anyone's table.

Salads don't have to include lettuce at all, of course. It's great if they do, but you can be creative. In the summer, I make salads out of nothing but tomatoes piled high, sometimes sprinkled with crumbled cheese, and of course tossed with dressing. Tonight I'm making a sunchoke salad (think potato salad with more flavor), and last summer I made a fabulous salad out of grilled vegetables (which included eggplant, potatoes, onions, and turnips, if I remember right).

The real secrets to a good salad are the dressing - we'll get to that in a minute - and, most importantly, variety. Salads are satisfying when they combine lots of different flavors and textures into one huge sensory experience. The one in the picture, which was our lunch the other day, was made of a mix of young spring greens topped with sliced artichoke hearts, diced avocado, carrot shreds, raw kohlrabi, leftover BBQ chicken, and sunflower seeds. Think about all the nutrition in such a meal! So many vitamins, good fats, proteins, and everything else the body needs. It kept us full for hours, much longer than you'd think "just a salad" would.

But now for the dressing, which is crucial. Most of the time when you go to a restaurant, they'll serve you a perfectly healthy salad and then drown it in a dressing which is actually worse for you than anything else you could order. For example, here's how a salad at Wendy's weighs in:

1/2 Pound Double Cheeseburger - 750 calories, 42 g fat, 1520 mg sodium
Chicken BLT Salad - 790 calories, 53 grams fat, 1670 mg sodium

That's right, almost all the day's fat intake and most of your calories (and way more sodium than you need) in a damn SALAD! Some of that is in the processed chicken they use, but almost all of it is in the dressing, and bottled dressing from the grocery store is not much better. So make your own. (It's a lot cheaper that way too!)

Salad dressing, contrary to popular opinion, is super-easy to make yourself. All you need to remember is two parts oil to one part acid (which can be vinegar or acidic fruit juice). Play with different oils and different vinegars, and add whatever spices you like (paprika and cumin are delicious with balsamic and olive oil, for example). Here's my most common, foolproof standby dressing - it goes really well on just about everything, from green salad in the spring to tomato salad in the summer to hot potato salad in the fall and winter.

10-SECOND LEMON-DIJON VINAIGRETTE

1/2 cup olive oil
2 Tbsp rice vinegar (or white wine vinegar)
2 Tbsp lemon juice (see note!)
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1/2 tsp honey
1/4 tsp paprika
Salt and pepper to taste
Few drops of hot sauce, optional

Note: If you made the Preserved Meyer Lemons I posted about two weeks ago, use the juice from that and don't add any more salt to the dressing. You can even chop up one of the lemon wedges very fine and stir that in for extra zing!

Add all the ingredients together right there in the measuring cup and whisk them together with a fork for ten seconds. Pour into a pretty little serving container if you want, and serve. If you're keeping this on hand to use a little at a time, just store it in a jar and shake it up before using, or give it another whisk with the fork.

Easy-peasy!

Flowers!

I thought I'd take the opportunity to celebrate spring (in my hemisphere, anyway) with a plug for one of life's little treasures. It's amazing how something so small and basic as a flower bouquet can dress up a room, a meal, a life.

Take the above pic. That's a quick breakfast I threw together the other day, just scrambled eggs and apple slices with cheddar-garlic drop biscuits. And it was so lovely there on my table by the window, with the newspaper and some delicious coffee, nibbling with my husband across the table, and a big bouquet of spring daffodils to bring the spring inside.

I feel happy when I have flowers on the table, and they elevate any meal into a dining experience, which is not only pleasurable but crucial for health. When we mindfully dine, rather than feed, we savor our food more, we chew it more thoroughly, and we eat less of it. Eating becomes an act of nourishment rather than stuffing. (For more on this subject, I recommend the excellent book French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano.) And when you're not eating, it's a great mood boost to have flowers around; I know I get a lift when I come home from a hard day at work and those bright sunny daffodils are beaming at me!

Besides, flowers don't have to be expensive, though they certainly can be. I picked up the daffodil bouquet above for $1.29 at Trader Joe's, but in the summer I typically have marigolds or roses from my yard in a small juice glass on the table. You don't need a fancy vase or a professional arrangement. Just cut some pretty flowers from wherever you find them (oh yes, I've pulled over for a wildflower before!) and stick them in water. Cut them at an angle so they take up more water and last longer, and for an even longer lifespan, drop a penny into the water too.

Tight-Arse Tuesday: Sowing Your Seed

If you're in the northern hemisphere, the weather out there on this February morning is probably not anything that makes you want to get out into the garden. Get started now, though, and you can save a LOT of money by starting your own seeds.

By the time the weather's nice enough to start planting outside, you've already missed the buss on a lot of delicious, healthy spring vegetables, and you've cut your tomato season short. Or you'll have to pay several dollars for each little baby plant, when you could've started even more plants for less than the cost of one.

So first find yourself some containers. Those little flats that you buy veggie transplants in work fine, but you can also use tin cans, yogurt cups, paper coffee cups, etc. Just punch a couple little holes in the bottom for drainage and they're good to go! Fill each one about 3/4 of the way (at least a few inches deep) with seed starting mix - note that this is NOT potting soil. Potting soil is too heavy for seeds. But don't worry, seed starter is not expensive.

Once you've got them all ready, make a little hole in each one (a few holes in each if you have a larger container like a butter tub) with a pencil, about as deep as it says to plant on the seed packet. Drop a couple of seeds in each hole, using tweezers for tiny seeds, and gently brush the soil over them. Mist liberally with water from a clean spray bottle; don't pour water in or you'll disturb the soil and move the seeds around. Label each container with masking tape and a Sharpie so you remember what's planted in each one.

Now you have to keep them warm. If it's cold where you are, you can cover each container with plastic wrap to make it a mini-greenhouse, just keep an eye on things to make sure it's not getting too hot inside. (If it is, you can lift a corner of the plastic for ventilation.) Another thing you can do is put your little pots on a cookie sheet and set that on top of a heating pad. Don't get it so hot that it bakes your plants, but this is a great way to keep your little seeds all snug and cozy.

Mist them with water every few days, or if your containers are shallow, pour a little water into the cookie sheet and let them wick it up from underneath.

In a week or so, you'll have small green babies crowning through the soil. Make sure they're in a place where they can get plenty of sunlight, or point a flourescent light at them for most of the day. You can switch on the flourescent light when you get up in the morning and shut it off after dinner in the evenings.

Let them keep growing this way for a few weeks, until it warms up outside and there's no more danger of frost. At that point you'll already have all your pretty little veggie starts and you won't have to go pay a fortune for them at the garden center. And delicious, homegrown veggies will only be a few weeks away!

Health Regulations AKA Why I Don't DO Supermarkets

When I found out the FDA, an American company, considered Vagina Dye a healthy consumerable product, which, by the way, doesn't seem to include their ingredients list on their website, I had to start a bit of a my usual ranting.

These are the people Americans trust with their food. They think dyeing your labia colours to please men is a good idea. And hey, while I'm all up for women actually paying attention to their own vaginas, I'm not only miffed that it seems to be a good idea to change the colour of my vagina for a man, but that the FDA seems to think this is a perfectly safe and healthy practice. If dying my vagina the shade of Audrey Hepburn is healthy, what the fuck are your people passing as decent food?

I live in Australia, where the standards of foods are stricter but still nowhere near perfect. I am all for people eating whatever they want, it's when they lie about it that I feel I need to say something about it. It's not even lies anymore, really, they've caught onto that. It's lying by omission.

99% fat free! your yogurt will claim. What they DON'T tell you is that 1, fat doesn't make you fat. In fact, fat is good for you. It gives you great nails and skin. You know how you have fat free food and then decide Tonalin CLA is a good supplement? CLA is FAT. Congratulations, you've taken it out and then put it the fuck back in. Obviously, too much fat is a problem, but we're not talking about that. We're talking about the stuff that replaces fat. Sugars, chemicals, poisons - things that break down your body and make it so your body has a HARDER time ingesting nutrients. All this so you don't eat something that makes your hair glow? What on Earth? Here, take this magic pill and you'll have glowing hair. That, or just have some fucking fat in your food!

Unless you get liposuction or are involved in some horrific accident, you will ALWAYS have the same amount of fat cells. Fat cells do not duplicate, they expand. Fat cells store glucose, which is what happens when your food breaks down into it's most basic form, and expand depending on how much glucose they're holding vs. how much glucose you're using. Sugar is pretty much straight glucose, depending on where it's from. Congratulations, that (considering you're expelling as many calories as you're taking in) is what's making you fat. Not fat. So all those things replacing your fat? Are making you fat. Does the FDA tell you this? No, it writes in big black bold letters how fat is bad (and yes, some of it is, but I'll elaborate on that another time) and then offers you a 'magic pill' to fix all the stuff it took out to begin with.

So not only are you taking fat out just to replace it, you're also adding unnecessary chemicals from the fat replacements you're just going to put back anyway! Let's not even get started on chemicals covering your foods, the fact that pesticides used to kill swarms of bugs is simply lying on your salad like a zingy dressing and that's FDA approved or the fact the FDA has passed some pretty poor examples of food off as being healthy. Case in point: cereal.

So let's get to the part of this rant that helps. Shall we? Did you know you can grow your own herbs and salads and vegetables and fruit? That it doesn't take up NEARLY as much space as you think it does? Of course you believe it takes acres upon acres to grow your own food. It doesn't.

Blueberries, pomegranates, blackberries, hell - even lemon trees, can all grow in pots. Also, they can grow in pots indoors. I know, right? Nobody told you this! Did you know pomegranates have the prettiest little pink flowers all over a bush? Most of the year they don't even look like food! They look like pretty flowery bushes. How on earth can that look bad in a tiny flat?

At my old place, which was a small no-garden flat, I managed to have herbs growing on my entry-way. Spinach is a must-have for me as it beats out strawberries as the most pesticide ridden food on the market. Strawberries, of course, being second, which also can grow in a tiny pot. Chives, basil, habeneros, dill and thyme all possess the little planter I took with me to my new house when I got engaged. The pot is a food wide, two and a half feet long and about two feet deep - it can fit anywhere, really. And there we go, organic nutritious foods that I know exactly what's in it and what's gone in it since birth.

So here's what I have to say to the FDA. Go ahead and hand out packaged overpriced cardboard as food, I don't care. But, for the love of G-d, label it 'cardboard' and not 'now with more fibre!'. I'd rather eat the damn box.

Yeah, every night it takes me about 10 more minutes to make a meal than those instant-lovers. But you know what I have? Supreme happiness, fitness, health, great hair, great shiny eyes, great polished nails, a rapid healing time, energy and the need for only 6 hours sleep a night (where when I was eating like that, I needed 10!).

So fuck the FDA and it's overpriced fibre filled cardboard. I'm going to have me a zinc and potassium loaded salad with all the trimmings for FREE.