Beauty Masks from The Kitchen

Like every other woman seeking the fountain of youth, or the fountain of staying youthful without ever getting old, I've tried every cream in the book. Expensive creams. Cheap creams. De La Mer to Jurlique to Sally Johansen to Johnson & Johnson, I've tried it. Things like collagen in creams are just pointless, because the body only absorbs collagen intestinally, so you're just smearing it on your face for no reason. However, those expensive creams all have one major thing in common - they use natural ingredients. Nature is the fountain of youth, y'all, gotta break it to you. While you're not going to be eating your collagen-filled cream anytime soon, you can however use things you eat to make the same creams!! Or at least, have the same effect as those creams.



Here, I bring you my current favourite scrub... crystalized honey. In my opinion, this is like the holy grail of beauty supplies and it's not possible to find at a shop. Ever. You're going to need to know someone to get this. It's like an illegal drug - only not illegal. What you need to do is find a bee farmer and ask him to get your honey BEFORE the bees have capped it. If they do, it turns into this untreated perfect crystalized form of honey, which is JUST as useable in cooking as regular honey, better for you and AMAZING on your skin. Just apply directly and let dry for half an hour and scrub off with itself... you'll feel a million dollars.

HOWEVER, there is hope! I have tried a many other at home beauty treatment and I have decided to post my favourites, all of which I have had good results with.

#1 Mango Mud Mask - uses only 1/4 a mango, so the rest is yours to eat!

1/4 mango
1 tablespoon oats
1 tablespoon spelt flakes (the original recipe called for 2 tbsp oats but for some reason I only had a tablespoon hanging around and did this instead and it was much richer than normal, but you can just use 2 tablespoons of oats)
2 tablespoons almonds
2 tablespoons whole milk

Blitz in blender. Apply to face. Try not to eat. I swear every time I make this, the area around my lips never gets moisturized. I lick it off.

Oatmeal honey mask: Use crystalized if you can. If not, this works nearly as well.

3 tablespoons oats
2 tablespoons honey

Combine. Apply to face.


Avocado Mask: The fats in this are super good for your skin. Especially if ingested. Just don't go applying your guacamole to your face and eating chips off it that way; it scratches. .... what?

1/2 avocado, mashed
1 egg
1 tablespoon avocado oil (only if you have dry skin)
1 quick squeeze lemon juice (only if you have oily skin)

Combine as above. Apply to face.

And just because this post didn't have enough photos. Here's my breakfast being super naughty.