Tight-Arse Tuesdays - Healthy Nutritious Eating is NOT EXPENSIVE.

Dear Readers,

This is more of a shout out and a rant than actual advice, but I know it's been getting to both Kimberly and myself these days. I will also include a few tips for those who know all this.

Food is not expensive. Food is not hard to make. A good meal is not a dream. I have no idea where Western Society got this bizarre idea that only the rich can afford to eat well. Are farmers rich? Do they eat well? Now, for the rich: do you ever see a rich man cook his own organic food or is he rushing from meeting to meeting sipping overpriced Starbucks? Exactly my point.

From poor to rich, from time-rich to time-tight; everyone can eat healthy. Correct, some people simply don't have time for drives to the country to get the food right off the farm. However, health is not just in the country-side. Good food is not far away.

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Tips to save money on food:

Don't eat out. Find a nice fancy recipe to try at home. Sure, at first the ingredients will cost more, but they'll last forever. And in the end, that meal will still be cheaper than if you ate out at a nice restaurant plus you'll have leftovers!

Organic food, by nature, is metabolized more proficiently by the body. Thus, you need less of it. Organic seems scary and expensive? You only need half if not less to get the same nutrients out of fresh organic food - however you still need calories - so you can fill up on more cheap carbohydrates like potatoes and brown rice. Delicious. Inexpensive.

Food can be grown at home and in not much space. There's a whole organization dedicated to growing food in a square foot. Heck, those Aerogardens are taking off nicely. All they are is a hydro setup, which can be inexpensive if purchased at an actual hydroponic shop instead of off a pretty jingley commercial. Insert marijuana joke here.

Bulk is always good but not always the best. Only buy bulk of what you will eat. I know that sounds obvious, but I'm a hoarder and I've stocked up on bulk cans of beets before. I hate beets. I especially hate canned beets. Now the charity hates beets. Staple bulks: beans (I personally use barlotti the most), chickpeas, brown rice, oats, sugar and flour.

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Someone told me they couldn't find organic food because they lived in a city. I found that confounding! I live in the farm rural areas and I have a MUCH harder time finding healthy and organic than I ever did living in the city. The city is a cluster of all kinds of shops within walking distance. Country? Notsomuch. Granted, it's a few days older than farm-fresh food - but it's definitely there. Look around, ask around.

Another person told me they simply did not have enough time. Sure, I don't have children - but I have two jobs, go to university and spend a day a week helping charities - and I cook every meal except one a week, which my husband does as a gift to me.

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Tips to save time on cooking:

The minute you bring home the groceries, chop and bag them. I find when I do this, not only do I eat the vegetables more often (because, hey, they're already cut, I might as well use them) but I have tons of time doing it all at once instead of before each meal. Once you get a good groove going, it's pretty quick.

Using the above tip I also make bags of mixed vegetables with ginger and garlic grated in and freeze them. Instant stir-fry in a pinch.

Every meal I make, I make extra and freeze it. Currently it's going to the fact I'll be away for ten days later this month and I don't trust my husband to cook for himself, but other than that it goes to my husband's lunches or spare dinners/desserts when I'm exhausted.

Crockpots: proof Gd loves us. It's an amazing delicious meal that you spent maybe ten minutes on, that cooked itself and used the CHEAPEST cuts of meat. Because that's what you do with crappy tough meat - you throw it in this thing and it comes out tasting jucier and flakier than any expensive filet mignon. And it cooks while you work!

Mini-Crockpots: I realized one day that I could put steel-cut oats and fruit into a small two-bowl crockpot before bed and I'd wake up to a high-calorie carbo-filled breakfast that would pretty much fuel me until lunch time, where my previous night's dinner had already made my meal! I'm currently playing with the idea of putting dough in there to make muffins as I sleep - so far it's better in theory.

Baking: Like crockpots, only quicker! Cut, toss, throw in, help the kids with homework, eat. Baked chicken takes five minutes to prepare. Shove a lemon up it's butt and thyme under it's skin and throw it in the oven. Want to speed up even THAT time? Boil the lemon first. Not only will it explode inside the chicken, self-basting it, but it will also start the cooking process from the inside as well - cutting your time by at least 15 minutes. I've cooked three whole chickens in a half hour this way before.

Use your weekends intelligently: You have a few minutes to watch TV and unwind? Before you do, quickly start some dough. Ten minutes, promise. Watch your show to rise and then par-bake the loaves of bread. Freeze and take out during the week when you want bread. Finish the baking process and - voila! Fresh homemade bread, during the week! Do the same with pizza dough then you always have fresh pizza bases on hand! Slap some jarred sauce on it, fresh veggies and some cheese and you have a fresh homemade pizza in minutes - up to 6 times a week! My husband tells me my pizzas are better than any shop including those pricey snobby ones.
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You can eat healthy and happy at home even short on time and money. C'mon, I'm currently planning and paying for a wedding* on TOP of my two jobs and school and I still find time for all of that - and writing this blog up as the smell of fresh curry wafts into my house from that crockpot. Enough to feed 12 and it cost me ten bucks. So I know you can do it!




*I call him my husband even though he's not yet, for the confused.

Farm-Fresh Fridays: Pimp Mah Chikkun

I'm not one to have the best of everything. I'm not one to have the worst of anything. I am, however, one to have the most blinged of everything. So when I found my chickens needed a fresh happy new nesting box - I set to work.

First I grabbed some old paint. Yes, the same paint I used in the stick tutorial. What of it? Then I cut out the sides so the chickens could climb in. I painted two coats of pink paint on the box. Letting sit about half an hour to dry between coats.


Then I drew a design. And by drew, I mean, I stole one off the internet and changed it to look like a chicken.


I placed the design where I wanted on the box and then traced it in black pen. I filled in the parts I wanted filled with black ink.


Then, to give my chickens a more pirate booty rustic feel, I dabbed gold and bronze inkpads onto the box, paying careful attention to heaping it up on the edges. My pink pirate chickens are vintage, yo.


Then I added a trim. I kept tossing up between this one and a stretch hot pink lace, but I decided my chickens were edgier than that, man.

And there you have it - a simple cheap and easy custom nesting box for that pirate chicken in your coop!

Tips For Lips

I have never been a particularly fashionable woman. In high school, I was the one in Daria glasses and camoflauge pants, who the popular girls sniggered at because I never wore anything that was currently in style. I do not read fashion magazines, and I cannot stand shopping malls. So don't look at me to tell you what's fashionable or stylish.

I will, however, tell you what never goes out of style, and red lipstick is at the top of that list.

Magazines tell us that red lips come and go, occasionally displaced by "nude" or pink. But they're wrong. Red lips are ALWAYS in, and no one will agree with me more emphatically than your average male. Every woman can wear red lips - if you think you can't, you just haven't found the right shade yet - and they make all the difference between "cute" and "goddess."

We all giggle at period films from the 70's and 80's because of the goofy makeup and hair. But when was the last time you heard anyone snicker at Rita Hayworth?

Here are my Ten Tips For Lips, if you aren't accustomed to rocking the vintage glam...

1. Choose a red shade that goes with your skin tone and hair. This makes all the difference between Marilyn Monroe and Ronald McDonald. Dab the sample on your wrist and see how it looks with your skin tone - typically, yellow-based skin tones (which most people have) go well with brown- or orange-based reds, and pinker skin tones go with a blue-based red. Ask the nice ladies at the makeup counter to help you find a red for you. They might even throw in a free makeover.

2. Different reds suit different occasions. A "true" or neutral red is good for daytime, while a deeper "fire engine" red makes for a sexy evening look.

3. Don't overwhelm your face with too much makeup. Red lipstick stands on its own! All you need on your eyes is a little eyeliner and mascara. If you're getting extra dolled-up, go with neutral brown tones on your eyes and a slim black eyeliner on the upper lid only. This is a very classic 1940's look that, again, suits just about everyone.

4. As with a house, a solid foundation is crucial. You don't want your red lips to play up red tones in your skin. Start with a good clear foundation, apply concealer where necessary, and then powder on top of that. This gives you the nice even-complexion look which makes the right canvas for bold lips.

5. If you have a problem with your lipstick bleeding or feathering into the little lines around your lips, apply foundation to your bare lips and then line with a good pencil before you apply your lipstick. It helps to hold your lipstick in place.

6. Try not to line with red liner - very few people can pull this off. I make my lips look a bit more full by lining with white liner in the upper "dip" part, then using a deep pink liner just outside the center of my lower lip. (I don't fill in my lips with liner as I cannot seem to do this evenly, but feel free to try it if you want to.) Then, after my lipstick, I apply a dab of clear or purple-pink gloss to the center of my lower lip and give a smack. This creates a full, wet, very appealing mouth.

7. To keep from getting lipstick all over your teeth: After you've applied your lipstick and gloss, stick your finger in your mouth with your lips on it, as though you'd dipped your finger in cake batter for a taste. Slide your finger out and it'll grab the excess lipstick off your inner lips so that it won't decorate your pretty white teeth.

8. Straws are your friend! Don't drink anything without a straw or you will WRECK your lipstick. A straw makes it much easier to keep that foxy look in place.

9. If you find your lipstick fading out in the center and collecting at the edges, do it in layers. Put on your lipstick, blot it off with toilet paper, then apply it again. The first application will leave a stain and also absorb excess moisture so the second application won't slide.

10. Speaking of moisture... I'm a big advocate of moisturizers and your lips are no exception! Drink plenty of water throughout the day, apply lip balm whenever you don't have lipstick on, and never lick your lips. Find a good lip balm and apply it first thing in the morning, giving it a few minutes to soak in before you put your lipstick on. Cracked and peeling lips never look good, no matter the color! So keep 'em soft!

I personally believe that every woman can be beautiful if she looks like she cares enough to be. This is how the legendary screen stars - some of whom, if you can envision them without makeup, were not actually that exceptional - became the goddesses we know today. So if you find yourself keeping up with modern fashions and still not feeling like a starlet, just remember that modern fashion is mostly designed by men who like boys and get in touch with a more classic womanly look. It might not be trendy, but it's timeless.

And by the way, that's me of the Daria glasses and camos in the pic.

Grilled Fig Salad

Every week, for some reason, I get given figs. Maybe I'm lucky, but it's a sad sight when four figs rot away in your fridge, so I decided to find something to do with them that was tasty and healthy if not the tiniest bit sugary. It combines sugar, bitterness, savoury and a little in the middle. Delicious.

4 large figs
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
2-3 tablespoons dark brown sugar
1/8tsp cinnamon
1/4c extra virgin olive oil
3 tablespoons fresh sqeezed lemon juice
1/2 tsp Dijon Mustard
Sea salt, to taste
Ground pepper, to taste
8 cups salads - I used tomato, lettuces of various sorts, cucumber and spring onions all from my veggie box!

Snip the stems off each fig and cut in half lengthwise. Mix vinegar, brown sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl. Add figs and gently toss to coat. Let marinade while you heat the grill.

Coat your grill with just a touch of oil. Grill the figs, reserving the marinade in the bowl, for about 2-3 minutes per side or until grill marks appear. Do not overcook or they'll become mushy. Set aside.

To reserved marinade, add all ingredients up until salad and whisk well, making a nice dressing. Place greens in large bowl, toss with dressing and then serve four people with two fig halves on each plate.

Or do what I did and only use two cups of salad and keep all the figs for yourself!

Tasted amazing when I put some crumbled feta on it, as well.

The Spa In Your Kitchen

So your skin is blotchy, dry in patches and oily in others, looks ten years older than you are, and is just generally in need of restoration. You can go pay half a paycheck for a salon facial, or you can whip up this mask in the comfort of your own home, without even getting out of your pajamas.

Even though I'm good about moisturizing every day and taking care of my skin, I'm 30 years old and getting to the point where my face needs a boost every so often. Besides, I like to take a Beauty Day for myself every once in awhile. Sunday was one of those for me, and so I threw together a face mask...

1 Tbsp honey
2 Tbsp organic yogurt
1 egg white

That is it, ladies, no mas, finite. Whisk it up in a bowl with a fork until it's all evenly blended and that's your fancy-ass spa facial. Try to use raw honey and a free-range, organically grown egg. Save the yolk - you'll use it momentarily!

Hold a hot damp towel over your face to steam it for a minute, then dry it with a fresh towel and use your fingers to apply the face mask as thickly as you can, covering your face and under your chin. If you have a little more than you need, apply it to your neck and decolletage. Let it stay there for 20-30 minutes, or until it feels very dry and tight all over.

Meanwhile if you want to treat your hair too, take that egg yolk and whisk it with a tablespoon or two of coconut oil or olive oil. Apply that to the ends of your dry hair (ends only! no roots!) and comb through your ends with your fingers so that it gets evenly distributed. Let that sit for a bit as your face does - I like to spend this time soaking in a bubble bath with a good book.

When that face mask gets so tight you can't stand it anymore, now's when you wash it off very gently with warm clean water. Use an exfoliating scrub too, if you like. Shave, if you do, and massage your whole body neck to toes with coconut oil or olive oil to keep it soft and supple. Now wash and condition your hair as usual, but before you get out of the shower, dilute a little white vinegar with an equal amount of warm water. Pour that over your head for a rinse that will leave your hair super-shiny - don't worry, it won't make you smell like vinegar, I promise!

Now step out of the tub, apply your favorite facial moisturizer, and fix yourself up. Relax and enjoy feeling extra pretty!

Coconut, Beef and Kaffir Lime Curry with Grilled Eggplant

45g shredded coconut
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1.5kg beef shin, sliced
1 large red onion, chopped
5cm piece ginger
5 cloves garlic
pinch salt
8 kaffir lime leaves
1 cinnamon stick
handful coriander
1 star anise
400g coconut cream
2 tbsp fresh squeezed lime juice
1 eggplant
2 tsp salt

Fry the coconut in a dry pan and set aside.
Heat the oil in a large heavy bottomed pan and fry the beef until brown, about 4 minutes on each side. Set aside.
Put onion, garlic and ginger in food processor and blitz, adding the salt at the end. Place mixture in meaty pan and warm until the house smells of heaven. Scrape up all beef happiness and then return the meat to the pan. (Mine came with bones and I didn't want that so I deboned them inbetween the cookings). Add all the spices, fried coconut, lime leaves, coconut cream and 1 cup water and lower heat to a slow simmer. Cover for 90 minutes until the meat is tender.

In the last 20 minutes of cooking, slice eggplant thinly and salt each side gently. Grill on grill pan.

Serve.

Farm-Fresh Friday: Raw Milk

Now that spring is here, 'tis the season for sweet fresh milk - straight from the cow (or goat), unprocessed, just as nature intended it!

If you're horrified by the idea of unpasteurized milk, let me point out the difference between farm and factory. In a factory farm, dairy cows are crammed into a modified feedlot, fed on a diet rich in corn. Ruminants like cows did not evolve to eat grain, so while the corn does boost their milk production, it also makes them vulnerable to the diseases that fester in the filthy conditions. The corn in their diet is rounded out with cheap non-food fillers, which not only abuses the cows but also makes the milk taste nasty. (This is why no one pours a glass of milk to drink anymore.) On a good farm, on the other hand, a manageable number of cows will live on grass (or hay in winter), soaking up the sunshine and clean fresh air that keeps them healthy.

Science has discovered that two weeks of a grass diet completely eliminates E. coli from a sick cow's digestive tract. Yep, all of it. No further processing needed on the E. coli front. But of course it's better if they don't get sick in the first place.

Pasteurization, therefore, is necessary in a factory system where the milk is diseased, infectious, and full of nastiness you really don't want to read about over breakfast. This is why mandatory pasteurization almost immediately followed the birth of the modern corn-based feedlot. It is not so necessary with farm-fresh milk. What's worse, pasteurization destroys vital nutrients and robs the milk of almost all of its health benefits.

Remember when every other kid didn't have asthma or lethal allergies? I know, those days seem more and more like ancient history, writ with every kindergartener's EpiPen. But it appears as though raw milk boosts the immune system better than anything out there, preventing or even curing allergies, asthma, and other immune disorders. It has other benefits too - you can read about them here.*

If you're lactose intolerant and think you can't drink milk, surprise! Raw milk has an enzyme built into it, called lactase, which helps to break down lactose; this enzyme is replicated in the Lactaid product you get at the store. Pasteurization destroys milk's natural lactase, but it's there in raw milk and it will do the work of breaking down lactose so you can digest it easily. Many people who are intolerant to pasteurized milk can drink raw milk without a problem.

"But I don't like milk," you say. If I may say so, you haven't had milk until you've had it raw. The flavor is so much sweeter; it tastes like rich, creamy sunshine. I love the joy of getting up the morning after we make our milk buy, and the cream sits in a thick layer in the top of the jar, with the smooth milk underneath it. I like the fresh cream in my coffee, but it's also good to cook into desserts and occasionally I make cultured butter with it. My husband and I like to drink the milk itself after a workout - it's got just the right combination of proteins, healthy fats, and complex carbohydrates to rebuild our muscles and replenish our energy.

To answer a common question, raw milk usually keeps in the refrigerator for a week or two. When it starts to turn and it's not good to drink anymore, you can still use it. Pasteurized milk goes rancid, but raw milk just cultures with the beneficial bacteria living in it (those "probiotics" you hear so much about). You can make sour cream or creme fraiche from the cream, and from the milk you can make yogurt or kefir. You can cook with it in soups when it starts to go off, or bake with it as you would buttermilk. Yesterday I used up some slightly-off raw milk in a cheesy sauce for cauliflower au gratin. So unlike processed milk, there's no waste with living milk!

If you thought raw milk was illegal, you can be excused for thinking that. In most areas, however, it isn't. Availability varies by state (and country). In some areas, you can buy it in certain stores; in most areas, you have to purchase it directly from the farm. Many farms cater to buying clubs, where members take turns making the drive out to the farm to bring the milk into town so everyone can pick it up locally. We just enjoy a pleasant drive to the country every week or so; it takes about an hour to make the trip, and the scenery is gorgeous.

You can find out where to buy raw milk at this link.

As for the other common objection - yes, it costs a little more. But at what price your health? My grandmother always says she'd rather have a big grocery bill than a big doctor bill, and it really does work out to be one or the other. In the 1950's we spent about 19% of our income on groceries and about 9% on health care; today those proportions are almost exactly reversed. There is a direct correlation between one and the other, and besides, healthy food is more delicious anyway. I know I'd rather spend my money on sweet, fragrant, tasty milk and farm-fresh foods than asthma inhalers (which I used to shell out $150/month for and now no longer need).

So find a farm near you, preferably one with Jersey cows because the milk is richer and more filling. (We only need 4 oz at a time when we drink it.) Then pour yourself a nice glass of living, probiotic, nutrient-dense milk and toast: To Your Health!

* (Of course there are some who are so immunocompromised or have other issues which preclude the consumption of untreated animal products, so avoid them if this is you, but the trick is to avoid getting into that situation in the first place whenever possible.)